It’s hard to keep on trying with the running. Part of me just wants to give up and quit. I miss it horribly but I get so frustrated with the ups and downs and trying to figure out what I can do right now that I wonder if it’s worth it. Maybe I should just accept that for right now, I’m not a runner any more.
If I had an injury that was defined, I’d be able to say, “I’m recovering for the next — days/weeks/months” and there would be an end in sight, where I’d know that I could get back to it. The problem with this is I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, I don’t have any guarantee that in any amount of time I’ll be back to the kind of life I really enjoy.
I wrote that the last time I was here, a couple of weeks ago, and evidently just shut the blog down–not posting, forgetting about it–until I got on today. I’m leaving it up to stand in contrast to the rest of my post.
I have had seven good days IN A ROW. This has not happened to me since before I got sick in November. I had a week in February that was really pretty good but not like this, not this consistantly good, and not this mentally good.
What happened? I made some changes based on some coincidental information (long, rambling story that I won’t tell here).
- I quit drinking coffee, replacing it with green tea, and that has made a huge difference in the brain fog. A dramatic difference, which is surprising in that I didn’t drink that much coffee to begin with.
- We went on a more plant-based diet (my hubby is doing the Engine 2 Diet and I’m doing it 3/4 of the way with him).
- I learned that several things I was doing are actually known to block absorption of my thyroid medication (taking antihistamines and having soy products within 3 hours of medication), so I quit those as well.
- I also started an herbal supplement that supports the thyroid and adrenal gland.
The difference has been amazing.
I have not fallen asleep in the afternoon any; I have not had any horribly depressed days; my legs have not felt like two rotten logs on a run or going up and down the stairs; I have been able to complete tasks, do more than one or two things in a day, and actually enjoy being physical. My body actually feels less bloated and gunked up, if that makes any sense.
I went on a run this morning with friends–we did the 7-mile loop and I did not need to stop or walk at any point. I ran the whole way, and I ran much faster than anything I’ve done since November, and I was social while doing it.
IT ACTUALLY FELT GOOD.
That was hours ago, and I have not crashed and burned. I was able to go to spin class on Thursday, something I hadn’t even wanted to attempt for months. I made myself rest Saturday since I knew I was running today…and it was hard to make myself not go run. I worked out more days this week than not.
If this keeps up through next week, I will be ecstatic.
I haven’t wanted to try riding my bike because I’ve been afraid I’ll just die after a few miles. I’ve been afraid to go on group runs because I never knew if it would be a day where I could run or only walk. I’ve parcelled out working out and doing things at home to make sure I didn’t do “too much” in one day. I have watched things I wanted to do pass me by and have had to pass on future commitments because I couldn’t know if I’d be up to them or not. This started the second of November, five months ago, and it’s not the way I like to live.
Maybe, just maybe, all of this is coming to an end.