Can You Say “Tool”?

Oh. My. God.

I’m stuck spinning because of the no-run mandate due to my back. I’ve been going to spinning at my YMCA. Now, one of my pet peeves is people who talk throughout the class. I know, I know–maybe I’m too serious, but I’m there to work and the instructors at my Y can’t wear a mike, so it can be hard to hear. Especially when someone is yammering on and on incessently.

The guy who annoyed me yesterday was back today, and this time he was two bikes away from me instead of across the floor. He was (again) working hard to impress the ladies near him, and I was doing my best to ignore him UNTIL I heard him mention “it’s a 2.4-mile swim” and then I began listening.

He was talking about Ironman (“I work out 6–7 hours a day,” “I have a work out every day,” “the swim is horrible because people get beat up and your race can be over right there,” blah blah blah) and going to Championships. The audible gasps of amazement from the ladies he was impressing were giving me an ocular workout of the rolling kind. At one point, I turned to look at him and realized he was on his bike on a trainer and not doing the spin workout at all. This went on for the entire hour.

When the class was over, I turned to him and said, “So, did I hear correctly that you’re getting ready for Worlds?” (This was CLEARLY the impression that he’d given.)

He replied, “No; I’m training for an Ironman.”

Me: “Which ones have you done?” (He’d clearly talked about he “usually did ocean swims”, plural.)

Him: “This will be my first one.” (Clearly NOT the impression he’d given.)

Me: “Oh really? Which one?”

Him: “China.”

Me: “Wow; China. Now tell me, why’d you pick that one? I’m curious–I did IM CdA in ’08 and I love to hear why people pick the IM they’ve done.”

Him: “It’s easier to qualify for World Championship there.” (OMG…)

Me: “Is that a fact? You know, that would never have occurred to me.” (Implied by me but not stated, that it never occurred to me to be such a self-absorbed TOOL.)

There was more, but I can’t even relive it. It took everything I had not to laugh at this pompous prick. I can tell you, though, the next time he launches into his “I’m such an Ironman stud” dialogue I will join the conversation…and shut him up. lol

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Published by Leah Nyfeler

I'm a writer, editor, runner, and adventurer who is always looking for the next new story, exciting adventure, and good meal/book/movie. My focus is on helping people find their best, healthiest self through sharing what I know and how I've come to learn it. In addition to my blog "Enjoying the Journey: Observations on the Fit Life" at, my articles have appeared in a variety of print and online magazines. You can hear me as part of the 2015 Austin cast of Listen To Your Mother.

0 thoughts on “Can You Say “Tool”?

  1. Yep tool. Chances are he won\’t qualify as there are other faster athletes who\’ve done other races and had a bad day at the office and need another shot… China is seriously hot and humid, but don\’t tell him!

  2. Hahah. He does sound like a giant tool. Who would be worrying about Worlds when they havent even done one yet? I definitely would have joined the \”eye rolling\” with you. Too funny.

  3. LOL! Good for you! Isn\’t it great when you can just shut down a douchebag like that? So annoying. Reminds me of that girl we met at the track that day who was going on and on about her coach and her running until you mentioned Bandera 100K. 🙂 So funny to see the looks on their faces in those situations!

    – Marcia

    1. tool update

      The Tool has not joined spin class again. Previously, he was 100% attendance when I was there. I haven\’t changed my schedue. He\’s wandered by to say \”hello\” but has not graced us with a workout…at least, not while I\’m there. lol

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