by I love pumpkins.
I love the color, the shape, how they look as decorations, and how they taste. Today, I took my pumpkins off the mantel; what to do with them? They all went out on the screened-in porch where they will continue to look fall-y and lovely for a bit longer. I’d gotten four small, multicolored ones at the grocery store that came in a bag that said they were not to be eaten.
WTF?
I hate haTE HATE to waste things, especially food. I wonder; did they put some sort of non-edible sealant on them to make them shiny? We still have the big jack-o’lantern pumpkin I’d bought for carving, an activity the boys skipped when I was out of town. I’ll cook the two smaller pie pumpkins, one white and one orange, when I have some free time and reluctantly put the non-edible ones in the yard waste bag.
Going back to hating to waste food…today I tossed out the last piece of pecan pie. It practically made me sick to do it, and I felt guilty for “wasting” food, but I thought it was better to “waste” it than “waist” it, seeing as I was the only one at home eating the damn thing. I know this ingrained guilt comes from childhood, where we had to sit at the table until we cleaned our plates, no matter what was on them.
Eating Based on Emotion, Not Hunger
Which brings me to food as an adult. It’s come to my attention that I do a lot of emotional eating. I had never realized this until I’d been feeling bad for so long. Truly, I’m not hungry. I’m not working out or doing much of anything at all. With my cold, food has even tasted bland. Yet I want to eat. I even told my nutritionist, Meredith, that I kept feeling like if I ate “just the right thing” I would feel better.
Of course, whatever I ate was never just right. And then the epiphany: I eat a lot of times to make myself “feel better,” be it physical or mental.
So I’m going to try to make sure I really savor the things I do eat. I’m going to eat slower and be mindful of what I eat so that my food is always pleasure.
