Emotional Navigating

Feeling better is a double-edged sword.

When I was freshly hurt and then newly out of surgery, I felt so bad that a whole day could pass before I knew it. I’ve done a lot of sleeping, a ton of semi-comatose TV watching, and read several books that, honestly, I don’t remember what they were about.

The better I feel, the more back into the real world I get. It’s frustrating trying to figure out how much I can physically manage and still feel good, as it’s very easy to over do and then feel horribly bad. So I have more ups and downs as I try to navigate that line.

More activity brings on different pain. My foot swells when it’s down (this is normal and my doc says it will continue for a surprisingly long amount of time), so simply standing up or sitting down without it elevated makes it hurt. So I have to balance the amount of time I’m up with the amount of time I have my foot elevated. I still can’t drive, I’m still on pain meds, and I can’t fully put weight on my foot. Simply getting around my house, much less getting out, is an accomplishment.

Which brings me to email…of all the real world things that I try to get caught up on, this is the most daunting. Lots of people fire off emails on a last minute “you better do this” kind of whim. It’s an easy way to pass the buck. It’s also the single most depressing thing I’ve had to deal with since I’ve been hurt. THANK GOD I have not set my phone account to receive emails.

My friends have been great about calls and texts, which I appreciate mightily — and none have been daunting or depressing.

Interestingly Related Viewing, Reading I’ve Enjoyed in My Downtime

• the new biography, Cleopatra, by Claudia Schiff (absolutely can’t-put-down fascinating! so much of what you think you know is just plain wrong);
• the movie Invictus with Matt Damon (wow, rugby is a crazy sport and how wonderfully inspiring is Nelson Mandela!?!);
• the documentary movie “Running Across the Sahara” (my friend Jody loaned it to me — it’s a riviting accounting of three men who took 111 days to, you guessed it, run across the Sahara in Africa)