We All Have Nipples

I’m beginning to think the real purpose behind wearing a bra has nothing to do with movement. I mean, exercise is why I wear a bra–if you’ve got big boobs, running just isn’t comfortably possible without some support. Trust me, I’d go braless in a heartbeat if I could perform all active motions without anchoring down my chest.

These days, I’m realizing the reason for bras stems from nipplephobia (fear of nipples). I wish I could say I coined this word but, sadly, someone got there first–there’s already an entry on Urban Dictionary.  But we need more specificity:

nipplephobia: the fear of seeing women’s nipples

Cutlets and Cookies

Brands will sell you a bill of goods about bras achieving a more attractive shape by moving wayward, sagging, and uneven breasts into “appropriate” position. Which begs the question, appropriate position for whom? If my boobs feel good, do I need to readjust? If adjustment is necessary, why couldn’t a barely-there bra do the job?

Oh, a single-layer, soft cloth bra is sooooo nice. Comfortable. No chafing. Easily stored, transported, and laundered. Compact. But egad, what if a pesky nipple could still poke through!

Bras are bigger, stiffer, and thicker than ever. They’re packed full of “cutlets” and “cookies”–inserts made out of silicon or foam–and molded. Bulky. Hot. Protective. Think body armor for breasts.

Since I last wrote about bras (“Did Jog Bras Get Bigger? or Are Stores Just Happy to See Me?”), cups have mushroomed. Finding an exercise bra without padded and molded cups–and underwire, but that’s a rant for another day–is almost impossible.

And it’s not just bras. Swimsuits almost universally come with pads, molded cups, and added material in the tops.

Nipples, I tell you. Our nipples are taboo. Society’s handed us a smooth, blind mound (hello, Barbie!) and we’re buying it.

Sexy vs Non-Sexy Nipples

I got news–we all have nipples. Men, women, mammals. Nipples on every single one of us. And guess what? They’re functional! (Well, a certain percentage are.)

These pads have nothing to do with practicality. Let’s talk about men. I dare you to find a men’s shirt with chest-high circular inserts. You know, to protect their nipples from chafing and spare us a disturbing vision. Despite men crossing marathon finish lines with bloody shirt streaks, padded workout shirts have never been a thing.

Of course, a man can simply remove the issue of chafing by uncovering his unsexy nipples. (Side note: this article on how men can prevent bleeding nipples during exercise is illustrated with–you guessed it–a female runner. Cuz, you know, nipples.)

Every woman who’s ever breastfed has aired her cracked, sore, and bleeding nipples. Privately, of course, because used lady nipples? Gross. Yes, hungry babies and small children love them but c’mon . . . . nipples! How dare we be so obscene.

Realization that women’s nipples alone are sexualized isn’t new; for some time now, we’ve been rebelling at the practice (check out this the  “Free the Nipple” movement) I hadn’t quite realized how the unyielding blind mound had infiltrated fitness wear until I needed new sports bras. And bought some new bathing suits. They’re ubiquitous.

Simple, supportive bras without a veritable shit-ton of material are the exception. Take my new bathing suits (please). After working diligently to smooth and unfold the creased breast armor pads, I contemplated taking scissors to the offending material. BECAUSE THEY’RE SEWN IN. Part of the garment.

Ugh.

Bras were so much nicer (and smaller and cheaper) without all that extra stuff. Can we go back to a simpler time? Like when a sports bra was two jockstraps sewn together.

Please–just give me back my nipples!

Boob News

• This article about a football coach who has issues with track runners in jog bras is insane: “Sports-Bra Outrage and a Fight Over Everyday Sexism” by Jack Stripling
• August 25–31, 2019 is Black Breastfeeding Week. Women who breastfeed generally need and benefit from encouragement and resources all year long. Black nursing women, however, have some special needs. This week focuses on support for this underserved and represented community. Here’s an excellent article: “Dear White Women: Top 5 Reasons Why We Need a Black Breastfeeding Week,” from Kimberly Seals Aller’s Mocha Manual.com
• Check your nipples, girls and guys. My dad discovered his breast cancer when he saw his doctor about an inverted nipple. Yes, men get breast cancer, too. Watch your nipples for lumps or thick spots, skin issues (such as dimpling, puckering, redness, or scaling), nipple changes (like inversion), and unusual discharge. Here’s how to perform your own breast exam and–warning–nipples are shown!