Doing What Scares Me Today

By the time you read this, I’ll be somewhere on a wild trail, deep in Ireland. Probably fairly muddy, almost assuredly exhilarated. Tired. Excited. Happy to be with my friend, Claire. Discovering a new place. Eating great food. Downing a whisky in a pub. Putting my tired feet up for a rest

Scared? Well, that’s how you’d have found me today, before I left. And that’s a good thing.

Taking Risks to Grow

Why in the world would I be scared of this trip to Ireland? I’m going with a good friend. The organizers at Rogue Expedition have reassured me all my food issues (exercise-induced food-dependent anaphylaxis is no joke) aren’t a problem. They even provided a great packing list. Still . . .

Six days of trails. Fijords, marshy bits, mountains, cliffs. Big climbs and steep downhills. Double digit mileage days. Ireland on foot via “adventure travel for runners.” Gulp.

What’s scary is my inner critic. She calls up every possible terrifying, horrifying doubt imaginable. You know, all those you shouldn’ts. You couldn’ts. She revels in listing the “what ifs.”

What if I’m

• undertrained?
• too slow to keep up?
• the biggest person in the room?
• embarrassingly out of shape?
• not a good fit for the group?
• unable to eat the right foods?
• the last one done every day?
• ill-equipped (my shoes aren’t right, etc.)?
• the only one using trekking poles?
• sidelined because my knee or ankle acts up?
• the one nobody likes?

Face it, Leah; these are the same “what ifs” that come up before anything new and challenging. All those fears are the very reasons to take a deep breath and just do it. So what if I’m slowest, fattest, last-est? I am what I am. And I’m grabbing Ireland by the shamrock and having a blast. Whipping out my mountain troll shuffle. Climbing that mountain.

Embracing that mantra I used to power through another “oh, shit, what have I gotten myself into?” moment–Pikes Peak 2005. Because this is what it’s all about:

Relentless pursuit of forward momentum

Leah Fisher Nyfeler