On Thursday, I went for a short run at Lady Bird Lake to make a decision: was Bandera an option? The answer was resoundingly “no.”
You know you’re not fit to run a 50K (or even a 25K) when you have to mull it over whether you should “tough out” the 4-mile loop. And it was obvious to me that my stride was affected and I was limping; I ran the whole way, but it wasn’t pretty or worth the discomfort. I got in the car, cried myself home, and committed to no Bandera. I’m not even going out there, because we all know that a good volunteer works much harder than the actual participants and the 3-hour car ride alone is not in my best interest. So I’m completely sitting it out.
Early that afternoon, I had brunch with friends. These are trail running friends, so of course they asked about my running. My decision got easier and easier to talk about, especially because they all understood that I wanted someone to mourn with me, to say “that really sucks” and not tell me there are other races, blah blah blah. Just acknowledge that it hurts. They all supported my decision, reinforced that I really have little choice, and helped me with beginning to think about the big goal, Rocky Raccoon. My coach thinks if I can do one more long run between now and February 6 that the 50 miler is not lost. Hmmmm…I am not sure I agree with that, but I am putting off thinking about it much until I get a second opinion on what exactly my problem is and how to resolve it.
A lot can happen in a month.
I’m trying to get an hour’s worth of some sort of exercise each day. The problem is that now walking is being affected. The doc had said I couldn’t hurt myself walking, that it was in fact GOOD for my back. However, I’ve noticed that I’m starting to limp when I walk, and yesterday’s walk was little better than the running. Pain is an indicator of a problem, and if my gait changes, I know something is wrong. The course of treatment I’ve invested in for the last month is clearly not helping and may have been hurting. After all, I started out able to run, actually feeling better when I ran.
So this week is dedicated to the second opinion. We’ll see what it brings.