Back on Course for a Run

The morning sky blazed with orange, pink, red, and yellow. A November sunrise on a clear, crisp morning is a spectacularly gorgeous thing, and we stopped breathlessly in our tracks to admire the beauty. Trees and golf course nets stood black, outlined against the brightness; ahead of us stretched a few more miles of empty road, waiting.

Now, I’m not truly a morning person but I love starting and finishing a run early. On this morning, we’d begun in the dark, well before sunrise, at Mile 2 of Austin’s Run for the Water course — the goal, to finish and head back to our cars while cheering on runners. We’d just passed the first mile marker when, in the distance, the gun fired and we heard that soul-stirring sound of unleashed runners cheering as they streamed across the start.

In those pre-dawn hours, my friend Ginny and I had had a really lovely run. As we fartleked our way through the miles, my body felt good. What felt even better were my spirits. One year ago, we’d done the same workout — and that morning had been a milestone, my longest run since I’d been sidelined by crazy fatigue. In November 2016, I was depressed, stuck in what I’d described as a “vicious circle”: tired, unable to exercise, and increasingly isolated. None of my doctors could figure out why I was so wiped out. My weight climbed. All of it made me depressed, ashamed (“Is Depression the Cause or Result?” was a very hard piece to write), and angry at losing my active lifestyle.

But, slowly and steadily, I battled my way back. Two years later, on that November 2018 morning, being on the comeback trail felt so good! Things were looking up, right? The very next weekend, I fell hard on my knee. Back to the sidelines. Months of recovery; painful workouts. And slowly and steadily battling my way back, again.

And here I was on this gorgeous November morning. Again.

A beautiful sunrise is always better after a run. Perhaps it’s even more beautiful because I’ve worked so hard to find my way back.