For the last few days, I’ve really gone inward. I’ve never had an event affect me quite like this.
Normally, I’m a pretty outward sort; I like people, I need people around me, and I enjoy contact. But when I get into this intense kind of focus, I draw in. Too much people contact is sensory overload. I mull things over in my mind and don’t talk a lot. It’s like everything has to stew and process. I spend time by myself. I understand why my friend Corey opted to drive alone.
It’s hard to be this way because it feels selfish. One of the hardest things about all the Ironman stuff has been what I’ve called “being selfish” but is really simply putting myself first. In the grand scheme of things, I’m taking, what, a week (?) of loony time for myself for something that is really big and important to me.
I think my family understands.
I hope they understand.
To step out of my self-absorbtion for a few seconds: my dear friend is going through a very tough time. I wish there was something I could do to help with everything but I’m afraid there isn’t much of anything I can do but send love. And I am sending lots your way.